headful

It's sapphic. But not enough for the label

I am writing on my novel about Tami again and had to make some decisions. Only maybe two more chapters are missing, which is cool.

But. I have to edit a LOT. I don’t mean looking for mistakes. I mean rewriting it. Reshaping it, wildly. In comparison to my other books, I am more conscious and meta with this one about what I am actually telling and how it’s working in regard to the whole story plot. It’s more complex. It’s fun, it's harder.

One thing I have to consider for example is how I want to deal with the gayness of the story. How gay is it? Do I want to label the book as W/W? Queer? Lesbian? Sapphic?
Tami, my main character, is experiencing something with another woman. So, there are gay things happening. But how much does it stand in the center of the story? Do I want to make it about it, specifically? Clearly? About sexuality? (Is Tami consciously dealing with it? What is her sexuality?)

I thought about it. And I don't want to. I want to leave it ambiguous. I don't want to give it a name. It's something. But what that is is up to the reader. I think that's more interesting and fitting to the whole story.

So, no sapphic label this time.

Also, it means that I have to rewrite some scenes. Ehh. A lottt.

It's very annoying for me to rewrite things. I find it hard to sit down and start working on it. I tend to procrastinate hard. It’s not really satisfying after a writing session to not necessarily have more words down than before. But I see, it’s good to change some things. It needs it. I really like how the story is finding its way into its right shape. But I hate deleting text...

So, ja, the process is painful for me haha. But at the same time, I am super happy about this story. I think it could become a book that I like. :)